Clean

According to Webster, clean means morally pure, innocent, upright, honorable.  I'm trying to decide what the word means to us as members of the LDS church and if we should even be using it.  These are some random thoughts:

Don't you just love a newborn? There is nothing that compares to wrapping your arms around a baby, holding it close and breathing in that wonderful smell. To me that is the smell of clean. It is innocence and purity in its most elemental form. This is beauty in its highest form. It is what I think of when I say that man is created in the image of God.

So what happens between that pristine beginning and the creation of a Hitler, a Stalin, a Charles Manson. How can a being so innocent become so tainted? Are they not also divine by nature?

Moses chapter 6 helps me to understand but let me first clarify how I feel about another scripture: 

1st Nephi 10:21

Wherefore, if he have sought to do wickedly all the days of your probation, then ye are found unclean before the judgment seat of God; and no unclean thing can dwell with God. . .

The key to this scripture is that it begins by saying, If ye have sought to do wickedly. . ..  That is the qualifier that ends with "no unclean thing can dwell with God".

This theme reappears in Moses 6 but in a larger context which I find helpful.

Moses 6 54-59 - paraphrased

The whole notion of original sin is nonsense. All children enter the world whole or free from sin.

However, life was designed so that everyone might taste the bitter and the sweet. None of us are free from sin and adversity during our mortal lives

We arrive on Earth with the freedom to choose good or evil. God made us agents with the freedom to choose our own destinies. He created us so that we would learn to know from experience what is the good. He also gave instructions (commandments) so that we wouldn't have to learn everything the hard way.

And when we make mistakes, He just wants us to stop, realize we're on the wrong path, and choose a better road. Heaven consists of a society where people choose the right. In order to be a part of that world, you may have to (most like will have to ) make some changes.

The Lord Jesus Christ who is your judge (and no other person has that right) will help you to sort out your life and become that "heavenly" person. Through Him you can be born again and become that pure infant - but this time not innocent - because you ate the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and became as the gods, knowing both good and evil. Now you are wise and pure and clean because you choose to be (are trying your best to be).

What I see in the Gospel plan is not a set of rules given by a sovereign lawgiver who says "Live by my rules or out you go!" What I understand is that mortality with all its trials and adversity is the path to godhood. Jesus is the one who loves us so completely that He alone is able to help us examine our lives and heal us from our mortal wounds - some self-inflicted, many inflicted by others. Those wounds were a necessary part of our education, our learning to prize the good.

So what then would be my definition of clean?

Clean - to be healed of the wounds of mortality so that those wounds no longer prevent us from progressing and becoming all that we can be - whether they be self inflicted or inflicted by others.

Am I clean now? only to the extent that I recognize and understand my wounds and ask for healing.

What I don't like is when the words "clean" and "unclean" becomes a judgment word and I or anyone else is made to feel bad about themselves because of mistakes they have made. Our mistakes are our education. They are intended to help us to develop our potential. We are not unclean because we do something wrong. That word is too fraught with a negative meaning - as if our nature were damaged.

I am by nature a child of God, divine by nature. In my very core essense I have divine qualities. I made forget who I am, adversity may strip away that memory, I may be taught I am worthless, I may not act as if I am divine by nature but my core, my divine potential remains there. It may be undeveloped but it is just waiting for the time of awakening when I remember who I am and then get the motivation and the power to choose a better path.

It is just better to use language that addresses are mortal condition rather than describes our being.

I also like the story in Matthew 8

And behold, there came a leper and worshiped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean

And she says put forth his hand and touched him, saying, I will,; be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy was healed.

This story touches me because lepers were outcasts. The disease wasn't understood except to know it was contagious. Those with it were required to warn others to stay away by saying "Unclean, unclean" and yet, as always, the Savior provided a safe place for healing by reaching out and touching that which was called unclean.

Sometimes we treat others the same as those lepers. Sometimes we feel like those lepers.  There is a truth that we must always remember:  The Lord loves us just as we are.  We all need healing and like that leper the Savior will reach out to us in whatever state we maybe - just as soon as we call out for help.  He has complete faith that we will respond to His Love and follow Him. 

Commandments

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Psalm 119

To truly have joy in the gospel I have had to finally gain some perspective about the commandments. Here is what they are not:

1. They are not a test.
2. They are not a standard by which blessings and punishments are administered.
3. They are not outdated.
4. They are not "Do what I say or else!"

To command is to exercise authority and to order others. I spent my childhood visualizing God as this angry authority figure who did exactly that. He was that God of the Old Testament who wiped out cities and nations when they "broke the rules." Lot's wife was turned to stone; Sodom and Gomorrah gone. And as much as I loved Noah and all those animals on the ark, that story reminded me of what would happen if I did not obey.

No wonder I loved Jesus - the man who came to teach us how to love. The Jews could have their God. I was a Christian - I would follow Jesus.

With that paradigm in my head, I interpreted all the scripture to fit my understanding. And I carried that belief far too long. I believe it affected my feelings towards all male authority figures.

Over the years I gradually began to adopt a new paradigm - the loving Heavenly Father. The Young Women statement affected me profoundly when it was introduced: "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him."

Teaching from Preach My Gospel while we were on our mission in Santa Rosa did the same. "God is our loving Heavenly Father."

But I must say the book The God Who Weeps by Terryl and Fiona Givens was pivotal. And I was 74 when I read this book! I wept the whole way through it. The Givens did not give me a whole new belief system -an alternative to Latter-day Saint doctrine. They showed me the Loving Father of Latter-day Saint doctrine. They freed me to read the scriptures, interpret the scriptures and see the love that is woven throughout.

I began to love the Gospel even more. With this new paradigm I have come to see the commandments as principles of happiness. I see them and all other teaching in the scriptures as the pleadings of this Father who loves his children so much that He wants them to know the path to happiness. I relate to this Loving Parent because I know how much I love my children.

I have this lovely version of my exit interview before I left my home above to come down to heaven.  It involves me sitting down with Heavenly Father and I would assume Mother, too.  They are assuring me of their love and reminding me of their plan and why earth life is so important.  "While you are there your job will be to discover principles that will bring you happiness when you live them.  You'll recognize them because they will remind you of us and of your home here.  But to help people remember them we have given them to prophets.  They are written in the scriptures and are called The Ten Commandments and we do so hope you will choose to live by them.  Just remember that each is based on a principle.  Don't ever get caught up in the language whereby truth is presented.  Look for the underlying principles and live by them.  Each will help you become the person you are meant to be."

One last thought before I talk about the commandments.  Too much emphasis on commandments and obedience doesn't seem healthy.  I often refer to this quote by Joseph Smith:

 “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” (Messages of the First Presidency, comp. James R. Clark, 6 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 3:54.) 

I totally agree that we should be teaching principles, not commanding people to do anything.  The following scripture says why: 

 D&C 58:26
For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

Hopefully, our roles as leaders and parents reflect this teaching of Joseph Smith.

Now let's look at The Ten Commandments knowing that within each is a principle that will bless our lives if we choose to live it. I look back over my life and see how much just those basic ten "commandments/principles" have blessed me and how many struggles in life are centered in them. This quote by G.K. Chesterton is quite appropriate:

"The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the ten commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion, but, on the contrary, of its liberality and humanity. It is shorter to state the things that are forbidden than the things permitted; precisely because most things are permitted, and only a few things are forbidden."

GK Chesterton quote

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THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME

I have learned to focus my life on things that have eternal significance. I believe I put God first in my life when I am so focused. Whether it is raising a family, serving in church or community, how I treat the children who entered my classroom each day, or honoring all people as children of God, I was putting God first in my life. I see everything as a part of His creation and make an attempt to care for all around me as a way to honor my Heavenly Father. It has been a wonderful and happy way to live my life. I feel so blessed everyday.

THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY GRAVEN IMAGE

this commandment reminds me that the best things in life cannot be seen with the eye: love, charity, kindness, forgiveness, a grateful heart, etc.

It is so easy to get caught up in believing happiness comes from things we can own. "Where your treasure is, there will be your heart also." We are easily distracted by the pursuit of material things. But as evidenced by this year's fires and hurricanes, those things can be gone in a minute. The trick is to use them gratefully but keep our hearts focused on eternal principles - things unseen that will remain with us when the storms are gone.

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

This was an important concept to the Jews. They honored God by honoring His name. In fact, they chose not to even speak His name - instead they substituted "ha - shem" ( the name).

Perhaps the principle we can learn here is that how we speak to and about a person is a reflection of who we are. When we use the name of God properly, it reflects our deepest feelings about Him, our respect for Him.

As we learn to speak respectfully to and about God we learn to control our thoughts and our tongue. We choose not to use common phrases that we here all the time such as "Oh, God", " Oh, my God", or "Jesus Christ" as a way to express frustration. But it goes deeper than that because we must learn to speak respectfully to everyone for they are God's children. 

So much of swearing is used to express anger and to hurt another person. I believe such unkind language hurts relationships and shows a lack of respect.

By choosing to refrain from any such disrespectful or"vain" language, I show how much I love and honor my fellow man and at the same time, respect God who is our Father.

Maybe swear words are in fact weapons and need to be buried as did the Lamanites who covenanted to never kill again. I know for myself that every bad word I have ever spoken was used as a weapon against another person. When I made a conscious effort to eliminate those words from my vocabulary, I eliminated much of the angry feelings that accompany them. I was forced to deal with disagreements in healthy ways. It was a great blessing to me to make that change.

REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY TO KEEP IT HOLY

For all my life, Sundays have been a special day. Sunday has meant worship, beautiful church music, thoughtful lessons and being surrounded by friends and family.

It is a weekly, holy day - a holiday from work, a day to relax and recoup from a busy week. I'm not good at making it a productive day. I seem to just need the rest. On the seventh day God rested and so do I.

I love the Sabbath and I'm grateful it has blessed my life all these many years.

HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER

It is interesting that the Lord even had to put this in among the commandments. Every child loves their mom and dad - in an ideal world, that is. But we live in a less-than-ideal world. For some, their parents are the rock they stand on. For others, their parents are abusive or drug addicts. Some of us love our parents when we are young but as we get older we begin to recognize their faults and lose that idealized view and have to adjust our thinking so that we can honor them.

If parents are not perfect, if they are just a pure disappointment, why should we honor them?

Here's another thought I've had. Why begin marriage with eternal covenants? Why not marry civilly or at least not in the temple and then when you're sure that this is the person you want to spend your life AND maternity with - then get that marriage sealed.

And why do we go through all the trouble to find our ancestors and get sealed to them?

Something important is going on here. What is it?

First - we can never fully understand ourselves until we understand our roots.

Second - the family is the most important place for us to learn and practice forbearance, patience, forgiving and being forgiven. This is where we practice what we preach.

3rd - commitment made up front determines the course of action we will take when conflict arises.

I've gone through so many of the stages I described. I loved my parents when I was young. I wished I had different parents when I was a teen. As I did family history and began to ask questions about my parents lives I began to understand them and to understand myself.

As I have done family history, I have often wondered what these people were like? Maybe those couples don't want to be sealed. Maybe those children didn't like their parents.

But I see the ceiling ordinance as a "healing" ordinance. To become like God we must be able to love everyone. The Savior offers that healing - that chance to let go of offenses, of any hurts that evolved in relationships. We are sealed under the priesthood which offers all the blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to each individual.

I like to hope that with all the temple ordinances in place, each family can be free to love each other and allow their life experience to become a learning experience, a pathway to growth.

My family is so important to me. It is where I belong. It's who I am. I'm so grateful for my family. Mom and Dad loved me and I loved them in return. I love my brothers - as different as we are. My extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins means a lot to me. It's been fun to reunite with cousins after years of going our separate ways.

The commandment to honor mother and father is so much more than just that. It is the gift of family for which I will always be grateful.

THOU SHALT NOT KILL (Or as Jesus added, " Whosoever is angry. . ."

It seems to me that the Lord is asking us to do two things here. The first is to value all life. Life is sacred. It is an amazing thing to live on planet earth - the only place that we know of in the whole universe that has life as we know it! Human life with all its complexities and all its complications is a rare and amazing phenomenon. We don't have the right to take that away from anyone.

Even more so - all of life is amazing. The earth is an ecosystem where every living thing has its part to play. Each piece is needed to maintain the system. Whenever humans destroy a piece of the ecosystem there are consequences. We are not to kill anything. We are to learn respect and awe for this magnificent home - Mother Earth.

The second part of this commandments which makes Jesus's addition important is that one task of becoming a responsible human being is to control our emotions. Anger is destructive. Even when it does not lead to murder, it is capable of killing relationships. Agency comes with responsibility. We are responsible for learning to appropriately handle anger which is a normal response to many situations. Unbridled anger is nasty and destructive.

The question for me here is how has this commandment blessed my life? I believe that because the Lord gave us this commandment I've had to do some soul-searching and to come to grips with my own tendency to get angry and even to wish certain people dead. Hitler would be a case in point. I should have been glad to have been a hit man sent in to eliminate this horrible man. But do I have the right to even think that way? Who am I to say who shall live and who should die? This commandment challenges my thinking and combined with the gospel that teaches that God loves all his children - even Adolf Hitler - I have to question my own hatred of this man.

Over years of such inner conflicts I have been able to let go of the anger and the need to judge others. I am able to give judgment to the Lord and trust that at some future time I will have a different perspective on those who I call "evil" people.

For me, the opposite of kill is love. This commandment frees us to love life!

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY (Once again the Savior added to a commandment, "whosoever looketh upon another to lust. . ."

I'm grateful for all the wonderful people I know who value fidelity in marriage and family relations. These people are my heroes in a world gone crazy.

If all the world would live the law of chastity - that all sexual relations be within the bonds of marriage - just look at the heartache that would be avoided:

• No rape
• No prostitution
• No child predators
• No child prostitution and the child slave market it encompasses
• No children born without committed parents
• We could end sexually transmitted disease.
• The Aids/HIV epidemic would have been so much smaller and never the horrible tragedy it became in Africa.
• Women would be honored; never "objects".
• All the sexual exploitation we see in the news would be gone.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

Once again we are asked to love and respect others - this time by honoring the things that belong to them. If we borrow we are to return. We honor human life by honoring human possessions. Control desires. Take charge of your own life and create a way to obtain the things you need.

But that is not the world we live in, is it? We have come to expect the worst. We have home security systems, double locks on doors, identity protection, Norton on our computers. We dare not leave our doors unlocked. Our cars have anti-theft devices. We are taught how to be safe - never leave valuables in our cars, timers on lights make it appear someone is home at all times.

What a world! If only we all would not steal . . .

And yet we all have done this wrong at some time. It may have been a "cookie from the cookie jar" or a piece of candy. It may have been an answer to a question on a test. If we have, it may have been the first time we learned that we do indeed have an inner voice that tells us when we've done something wrong. For many a child this is when they discovered what a "guilty conscience" is.

I know that feeling and I don't like it. Losing integrity with yourself is a terrible feeling. Early childhood experiences of taking something that doesn't belong to us are often one of the best learning experiences we ever have -introducing to us our conscious conscience and helping us to make better choices in the future.

Thou shalt not steal is tied to the tenth commandment - thou shalt not covet but I think that one is the hardest of all.

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR

Most of us will never out-and-out tell lies about another person. Nor will we twist the truth about others. (Washington would certainly be well-served by living this commandment!)

Our challenge lies in speaking well of others and in not gossiping. Another challenge is to just keep and honor confidential information we may have about others.

Love, honor and respect are once again keywords. You don't have to like everyone. Personalities do clash. But we can give respect to all. And the best way we can do this is by how we speak of others.

Case-in-point - we have a neighbor who is bipolar. When she is off her meds, she is a nightmare. She can yell and scream and cuss you out over anything. At such times it would be easy to get caught up in negative conversations about what this neighbor has done this time. We choose not to do that - I read "false witness" to include sharing such stories with our neighbors.

Love, honor and respect is due to all human beings. We are all children of God with challenges of our own. I am blessed by this loving advice from my Father in heaven. I have kinder interactions with others because I choose not to bear false witness.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE, THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE, NOR HIS MANSERVANT, NOR HIS MAIDSERVANT, NOR HIS OX, NOR HIS ASS, NOR ANYTHING THAT IS THY NEIGHBOR'S

I think this commandment is the hardest of all when you live in a culture driven by consumerism as we do here in the United States. We are barraged with the message that "things" will bring us happiness. Not true but...

Don't we find ourselves coveting

• our neighbor's house - all of a sudden ours isn't as satisfying. Their kitchen back-splash is so beautiful. I should redo mine, etc.
• our neighbor's wife - she's thinner, has nicer clothes, her hairstyle is stunning, etc
• our neighbors servants - perhaps a sign of status. Wish I could afford a maid . . .
• our neighbors transportation - another sign of status - perhaps his Lexus or Camry

There will always be something our neighbors, our siblings, our church friends have that is nicer than what we have. And the even sadder thing is that coveting causes us to break other commandments. No one steals without coveting. Murder is often linked to coveting. Adultery is often linked to coveting. Bearing false witness as a result of jealousy goes back to coveting.

I have two antidotes that work for me - the 10th commandment is all about "things". If we make a decision to focus our lives on becoming Christ-like, by developing the qualities of character that defined the Savior, "things" will lose their appeal. There is less satisfaction in the material as we develop the spiritual in our lives. Our hearts will change just as did the Grinch once he realized there was more to Christmas.

My cancer diagnosis in 2014 caused me to really take a good look at my life and evaluate what was really important to me. Relationships are the only things that matter. And all of the Christ-like attributes - everything the Savior taught us  - are the skills we need to make our relationships happy ones. Families are forever!!

The second tool I used to combat my moments when I find myself feeling sorry for myself because I am coveting things - is gratitude.

Counting my blessings is the healthiest thing I do for myself. It fills me with joy.  It fills me - it is like all those little empty spaces inside my heart that think a new "this or that" would bring some joy are so completely filled that there is no emptiness. I am complete. I am happy - not because anything changed but because I stopped to appreciate what I already have.

O, how I love God's laws. They have taught me how to live a happy life. His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. I shall forever be grateful that I have had the Gospel of Jesus Christ to guide my life.

Hymn 125 says the following:

How gentle God's commands

How kind his precepts are.

Come, cast your burdens on the Lord

And trust his constant care.

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THOU SHALT NOT NAG (Keep reading for an explanation)

If you have read the Anne of Green Gables stories then you already know that Anne could be stubborn and rebellious- in her own childlike, innocent way.  It often got her in deep trouble.  Near the end of the first book, Anne and Marilla are having a conversation about Anne's morning at church.

"I want to tell you something and ask you what you think about it.  It has worried me terrible -on Sunday afternoons, that is, when I think specially about such matters.  I do really want to be good; and when I'm with you or Mrs. Allan or Miss Stacy I want it more than every and I want to do just what would please you and what you would approve of.  But mostly when I'm with Mrs. Lynde I feel desperately wicked and as if I wanted to go and do the very thing she tells me I oughtn't to do.  I feel irresistible tempted to do it. Now, what do you think is the reason I feel like that?  Do you think it's because I'm really bad and unregenerate?

Marilla looked dubious for a moment. Then she laughed.

If you are I guess I am too, Anne, for Rachel often has that very effect on me.  I sometimes think she'd have more of an influence for good as you say yourself, if she didn't keep nagging people to do right.  There should have been a special commandment against nagging."

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Condemnation

John 3:16 -19

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life

For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through Him might be saved.

He that believeth on Him is not condemned but he that believeth not is condemned already. Because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

And this is condemnation; that light is coming to the world and men love darkness more than light.

A simple primary song said it this way:

There's a right way to live and be happy. 

It is choosing the right every day. 

I am learning the teachings of Jesus. 

They will help me and show me the way.

The dictionary defines "condemn" this way:

• To censure
• To blame
• To prescribe punishment for
• To pronounce unfit
• That is not the scriptural definition.
• Condemnation in the scriptures:
• To suffer the consequences of living wrongly

Wrong choices bring suffering to our lives and into the lives of those around us. Jesus came to show us a better way.  God is not a judge who censors enhance out sentences. We bring evil upon ourselves. He is our loving Father who:

• Invites
• Whose hands are outstretched still
• He sent His Son
• He calls and begs us to make better choices
• He weeps when He sees what we do to ourselves and to each other
• His work and glory is to help us find the path of true happiness!

With many Gospel words there are many ways to interpret them.

If you understand God to be the lawgiver who demands absolute obedience and who punishes those who disobey, you are probably going to use the dictionary definition of condemnation.

If you understand God is I do, the loving Father working for our good, then you are blessed with a knowledge that for all the mistakes you make, He is there not to condemn, but to rescue, save, and heal. 

Conscience

Conscience means a knowledge of one's own acts as right or wrong.  Just picture the cartoons where a person has an angel standing on one shoulder whispering in one ear while a little devil if enticing in the other ear.  This is such a part of our cultural heritage these images pop up everywhere:

If you google "conscience" and look at images you will find many like those above.  However, I think those pictures are probably more of our agency and having to choose between good and evil than they are of our conscience.  Our conscience is more an inner ear - a message you get from your own knowing - that something is right or wrong.  We say "Listen to yourself."  "Trust your feelings." because often that inner voices comes through how a situation makes you feel.

If you look at the writings of the Apostle Paul, you'll find a lovely description as he came to understand that some people who don't even have the Gospel in their lives, still are making good choices.

Romans 2:14 - 15 

For when the gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves.

Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, while their thoughts the meanwhile accusing or else excusing one another.

Usually when you say someone is a "law unto themselves" you mean they don't follow the rules or the laws but do just as they want.  This is not what Paul is meaning.  He is saying they haven't been taught the laws of the Gospel, but that same law is inside of them and they are recognizing it.

My favorite scripture about this idea that the law is in us is in found in D&C 84:46

And the spirit giveth light to every man that cometh into the world and the spirit lighteneth every man through the world, that hearkeneth to the voice of the spirit. And everyone that harkeneth to the voice of the spirit, cometh unto God. . .

There is an inner voice that is our divine connection to God. The problem is that that voice can be:

1. Be silent because others in our lives teach to not trust it

2. Or that we ignore it so often that we finally don't hear it at all.

But healthy people learn to listen and trust that voice. They may call it "my conscience" or "my intuition". They may say "I just know".

Much like the spirit, we hear our inner voice in our quiet moments when we take the time to listen.  That is just one of the many reasons that I believe in meditation.  We all need time to be alone, to be quiet, and to just listen - to God and to ourselves.

I love looking for quotes on the internet.  As I googled conscience I found these.  I believe that those who have learned to listen to that inner voice have come to appreciate it's value in our lives.

I was especially touched by this last one:  A conscience without God is like a court without a judge.  I'm not sure that I like his analogy as much as that it triggered a thought in me.  My most painful experiences in life have been those times when I didn't listen to my conscience and I realized that I was SO out of integrity with myself.  Those times taught to appreciate the message of love and forgiveness that the Savior offers to each of us.  It was through Him that I found peace in coming to grips with my own weaknesses and failings.  So I like this thought - that God would not have given us a conscience without also giving us a way to gain relief from the pain of facing ourselves.  That is so consistent with my understanding that the Gospel plan from the very beginning included a Savior!

Covenant

I used to think of a covenant in a very legalistic way and, frankly, I got that from a scripture:
D&C 82:10 "I, the Lord, and bound when you do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

So what I read in that scripture when I first learned it, was that by making a covenant with God and fulfilling my part of that covenant, I was promised certain blessings. God was bound by may actions. I was actually in control of God!

I lived the word of wisdom so I would have great health.

I paid my tithing so I would always have financial success. I had heard enough testimonies of this. I knew this was true, etc. etc.

But then God disappointed me. I did my part but He didn't do His.

I have had to struggle with this reality: Every time I do something good, I am not rewarded.  My faith has not moved mountains.  Prayers are not always answered.  God is not at my beck and call. So I have had to come up with my own explanation of what it means to me - to be a"woman of covenant."

I don't like the explanation given in the Bible dictionary -". . .principles and ordinances are received by covenant placing the recipient under strong obligation and responsibility to honor the commitment. Thus the severe consequences to Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5:1-11. They each collapsed and died when their deceit was discovered."

The God I know and love doesn't go around punishing people for making mistakes. He allows consequences to teach us and there is a consequence to every action.

So what does a covenant mean to me?

When I make a covenant it means I have reached a momentous decision in my life. I have committed to live in a certain way and become a certain type of person. I don't make a covenant for praise or reward. There is a reward though and that is the good consequences that come into our life when we live "correct principles."

Perhaps the greatest reward of all is the sense of integrity I feel as I begin to see my outer life match my inner desires. I want to be a person of integrity. I want others to know that when I make a promise or a commitment I will do it! My covenants define me. They guide my life and my choices. I find the process of making a covenant - committing to do something - helps me to work harder to be true to those covenants.

I wrote this poem long ago when I first had that realization.

Dear Lord, I have spent many a year

Learning to follow Thy ways.

And along the road I have covenants made

That have altered the course of my days.

I awakened each day and knew my path;

The commitments I had made with thee.

And I skipped along, thinking all would be well

It would be easy. You'd see.

I would follow my shepherd to pastures green

Where rest would be my reward.

For your promise is sure and blessings await

Those who follow you, Lord.

Then life became hard. This was not the plan.

Arrows of anger I shot.

You promised blessings. Where are they? I pled.

Thorns grow in my garden plot.

The answers came. Be patient. Endure.

Be still, my little friend.

If you are true to your covenants

I am with you till the end.

You renewed my strength. Understanding has come

And now I clearly see.

The covenants weren't designed to alter my world.

They were designed to alter me.

Another thing to consider as you think about covenants would be to ask yourself this question: What covenants do we make in the temple at the celestial level, at the terrestrial level, and at the celestial level? How did these covenants reflect a progress in our growth toward godhood?

Curse

There are many times in the scriptures where it talks about a "curse".  Too often we interpret those passages with the dictionary definition of that word.

The dictionary defines curse as follows

Curse - (noun)  An invocation or prayer for divine punishment or harm to come up on someone.

Curse - (verb)  To call for divine punishment of or utter a curse or curses on someone. To bring harm upon.

Cursed = to be under a curse.

But there is a better definition.  It is found in the scriptures:

A curse is a separation from God because of sin; a loss of the spirit of God

Key scriptures:

Doctrine and Covenants 29:41

Wherefore, I, the Lord God, caused that he should be cast out from the Garden of Eden, from my presence, because of his transgression. . .

Alma 3:19

Now I would that you should see that they brought upon themselves the curse; and even so. Every man that is cursed bring upon himself his own condemnation.

God does not curse us. It is impossible for Him to wish harm upon us or inflict harm. This is not in His nature. However, He does allow us to live in a world where harm is real.  The truth is that we humans cause all sorts of harm.  We harm ourselves or bring harm upon ourselves by our actions and the consequences of our choices.  When we do, we tend to withdraw from the Lord; we hide as did Adam and Eve when they realized what they had done.

The Lord has only one goal and that is to bring us home.  He has provided a way for that to happen.  All the principles of the Gospel are designed to help us to become one with God and with each other.  That is the meaning of the Atonement - At-One-Ment.

Of all the things I know for sure, I know that God does not curse us.  He can only bless.  He is God.

Death

We see death all around us - a dead animal on the side of the road, dead bugs in the basement, the flowers in the vase all died, news report after news report of shootings, wars and accidents.

In spite of all that, I cannot imagine myself dead.

The dictionary defines death as: the act of dying;the end of life, the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism.

The Bible dictionary defines it as the separation of the body from the spirit.

This spirit is the internal part of us that travels from pre-existence to mortality to eternity. Someday I will step out of this body and move on to my eternal home with my heavenly parents and my parents and all I know and love. It will be a joyful reunion.

So why then is death so hard? Why do we grieve so deeply?

From The Christ Who Heals by Terryl and Fiona Givens I quote:

The promise made by the Savior is one of unimaginable joy - perfect, untainted, unqualified joy. "And God shall wipe away all tears from them; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.," But if God shall wipe away those tears, He can only do so by triumphing over the cause of those tears, which is death severing our most intimate family ties and connections. Any joy we receive in the absence of our loved ones is a partial joy, a fractured joy."

Heaven apart from those we love is just hell by another name.

Death then is not just a personal experience - that separation of spirit from body. It is a separation from loved ones. Thankfully we have the Gospel of Jesus Christ and know that God's work is to bring us back home with our families and friends.

I have a family here on Earth. 

They are so good to me. 

I want to share my life with them through all eternity. 

Families can be together forever 

Through Heavenly father's plan. 

I always want to be with my own family 

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

   ******

Well it's hard to say goodbye and let's go 

And it's hard to see it end

When the memories we've just made may never happen.

But it's harder for time to ever erase 

The together times we've shared. 

So, when we are apart remember all the love we shared together. 

And for all that love, thank the Lord above 

Who showed us the way that we can be together forever someday. 

We will be together forever someday. 

We will be together forever someday.

Degrees of Glory - Eternal Progression

When I first learned of the degrees of Glory it was part of a lesson on the plan of salvation. Here is a drawing of that lesson:

I was taught that at the judgment you would be assigned your final destination. It was much like the Protestant theory only instead of being assigned heaven or hell - these were degrees of Glory - each being a place of Glory - so much more wonderful than anything on Earth. But only in the Celestial Kingdom do people live as families with Heavenly Father. D&C 76.

But I find that view to be limiting.

• It limits the work of God to bring his family home
• It limits the ability of people to change and progress
• It greatly limits those who never heard the gospel in this life
• It limits the power of Christ atonement to save us and heal us and "fit us for heaven to live with Him there".

So I will state what I believe and add some quotes that give that hope.

God stated in Moses 3:19 that it is his "work and glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man". Add to that 2 Nephi 26 where we are reminded he "doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world, for he loveth the world even that he lay down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. Wherefore, he commanded none that they shall not partake of his salvation."

I believe in eternal progression. Because of our gift of free will or agency we progress differently and at different rates. But we do continue to learn and change and grow. That will continue as we each learn to live a principled life moving from a life based on telestial laws to one based on terrestrial laws and eventually a life based on celestial laws. That progress is ours alone to choose. God does not force they're magically make it happen. But he keeps that door open and invites, invites.

Come on to me, all ye ends of the Earth, buy milk and honey without money and without price.

Here are some quotes that should inspire us all to be generous as we think of the eternities - for ourselves as well as all God's children.

Joseph Smith - "A spirit in the lowest kingdom," he is recorded as saying," constantly progresses in spiritual knowledge until safely landed in the Celestial." Joseph deliberately represented this process in the temple endowment. (p 118 The Christ Who Heals)

B.H. Roberts said "The ministry alluded to it in each kingdom is meaningless unless it be for the purpose of advancing our fathers children along the lines of eternal progress."

President Joseph F. Smith asked "When will the Lord's work be done?" and answered, "Not until He has redeemed and saved every son and daughter of our Father Adam that has ever or will ever be born upon this Earth to the end of time, except the sons of perdition." (p 119 The Christ Who Heals)

That last phrase acknowledges that God will not force us. We ultimately choose our own destiny and there may be some who choose not to return home.

Like the ever patient, ever persistent, ever-loving Tutor, the Savior does not consider his work completed until his words and actions find a way to permeate the core of each person's wounded heart.

Boyd K Packer "There is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness."

Elder Holland "It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite Life of Christ atonement shines."

CS Lewis "No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are already, the towels put out, the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only Faith Hill thing is to lose one's temper and give up."

Kenneth Kirk "Three things are true about love. . .

The first is, that it always confers independence upon the object of its love. It gives, compelling no return, it goes on giving in, though no love is given in answer. It is the one force in the world that does not bargain.

Second, if love endows the recipient with formal freedom - with the right to accept or reject at will - it also, and it and it alone, confers upon the giver actual freedom. In love and in love alone can [humankind] actualize the freedom...which God has given to him...Man becomes free as he learns to love.

And finally, love is irresistible...and therefore whatever in the end opposes it must in the end give way... The same power which confers freedom on its recipient also evokes from them - not by contract, not by force, but by the invincible version of a moral appeal - an answer of love freely given in return."  

I am convinced that God's love, combined with the Savior's, will reach all and bring us home - eventually but surely. The question for each of us is merely how long do we want to remain living in lesser kingdoms while the full glory of the celestial beckons? But that may not even be a fair question. My own experience in life has taught me that my own process of growth is slow and labored. It seems not so much a matter of will but of education and experience and learning. Maybe we just need to enjoy the journey and focus our own lives on becoming more like the Savior and learning to love more deeply and freely.  For at the heart of all of this is the amazing Love which was demonstrated in our pre-existence life when our Heavenly Parents called us all together to present a plan...

Discern

What would be more wonderful than to be able to know what is truth!

In American politics 2019 it is almost impossible. We have learned how easy it is for truth to be distorted.

Paul warned us in his second letter to Timothy as he described the conditions that would exist in the latter days.  He concluded by saying men would be: (Timothy 3:7) ,"Ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."

To live today is to know that feeling.

But as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints we have been taught that there is a way. In Moroni 10 :4-5 we are taught a process by which we may know if the Book of Mormon is true - that it is indeed the word of God. That process applies to many areas of our lives:

And when you shall receive these things, I would exhort you that if that he would ask God, the eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true. And if you shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost you may know the truth of all things.

Another scripture helps us to understand another way that we can discover truth - or what is right and what is wrong.  It is in D&C 84:44-46.

For you shall live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God. For the word of the Lord is TRUTH and whatsoever is TRUTH is LIGHT, and whatsoever is LIGHT is SPIRIT, even the spirit of Jesus Christ. 

And the spirit giveth light to every man that comes into the world and the spirit enlighteneth every man through the world that harkeneth to the voice of the spirit. 

And everyone that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit cometh unto God, even the Father.

We are human beings given the gift of agency - the right to direct the course of our lives. But Heavenly Father has not abandoned us. He has given us tools to help us find our way through mortality.

The gift of discernment is one of those tools. We have an "inner voice" that knows. We must learn to listen and trust that voice. It often manifests itself through just an uncomfortable feeling - a warning to protect yourself - something is not right.

Sometimes we have big decisions to make so we turn to God in prayer seeking the manifestation promised in Moroni 10. Quiet time with the Lord each day helps us in that process.

In the temple washing and anointing we are blessed with the gift to discern.  As we stay close to the Lord and seek his help, we get better as hearing both our inner voice, the voice of the spirit and the Lord's answers to our prayers.

He wants to help but we are not puppets in His hands. We are His children learning to become like Him.

Hymn 240: Know This That Every Soul is Free

He'll call, persuade, direct aright

And bless with wisdom, love and light.

In nameless ways be good and kind,

But never Force the human mind.

Our task is to listen for these voices that guide us as we exercise our agency while here on the earth.

Have I perfected that process?  Not even close.  I mostly learn from trial and error.  However, I have learned to trust that inner voice, my feelings.  I really do try to take time each day to be quiet and listen.  I believe my testimony is based on those feelings that come from inner voice.  I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and what we can create when we live those principles! 

I look at the world around me and I see so much chaos.  People's lives are destroyed by all the hate, the lack of principles and ethics, by the immorality that we see every day: murder, lies, mass shootings, the constant corruption that we see in government and in the business world.  It is not hard to recognize the voice of Timothy in the news each day: For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.

It is not hard to discern all that is so corrupt.  I wonder why people choose to live that way. . .

Divine Nature

"Divine Nature" is perhaps my favorite scriptural phrase. It is, in my mind, connected to individual worth.  It means that in my very essence, I have the qualities of Godhood.  I'm not sure that I have to develop them so much as I just have to remember them, to remember who I am so that I can exhibit those qualities.

From The Young women's Personal Progress:

I have inherited Divine qualities, 

which I will strive to develop. 

I am of infinite worth with my own Divine mission, 

which I will strive to fulfill.

Our new young women theme begins:

I am a beloved daughter of Heavenly Parents, 

with a divine nature and eternal destiny.

This truth is so essential to who we are. It should stand as the core of what we believe about ourselves. It means we literally are a child of a our Heavenly parents. We lived with them before we came to earth. We have within each of us the possibility - the ability - to become like them. My divine nature means I can become:

Loving      Kind      Patient      Forgiving      Trustworthy      Optimistic      Confident    

Filled with hope      Chaste      True      Just      Pure      Humble      Charitable

Diligent      Long suffering      Gentle      Meek      Honest      Benevolent

Capable of Learning and Doing anything

C. S. Lewis wrote:

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which,if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”

I think he was right but I am more optimistic than he.  I hope and pray with all my heart that each child of God will eventually realize who they are, and choose everlasting splendors.  The Gospel makes it possible.