A Testimony of my Own

A favorite LDS author of mine is Terryl Givens.  I heard him at a BYU devotional several years ago and he said something that really stuck with me.  He said that he had created a set of principles for himself to help him determine if something is true.  His principles were simple.  Any gospel truth would be expansive, redemptive and inclusive.  I created this picture based on his writings:

Brother Givens got me to thinking in a different way.  I gave myself permission to think about the Gospel in terms of how I recognize truth.  I frankly like his 3 phrases a lot.  I have thought about them when I was contemplating a scripture, a talk I was reading, or something someone said in a class or in sacrament meeting.

It is said that if 20 people were all sitting in a room listening to the same person give a speech, there would be 20 different versions of that speech.  Likewise, children growing up in the same home, have different experiences of what that home was all about.  Life is like that because humans are very complex creatures.  We bring with us a personality of our own when we are born.  We are each given a unique and different genetic makeup that forms our thinking.  And from the moment of birth forward we have experiences that affect us differently and we begin to shape our own world views.

As we develop a testimony of the Gospel, all of our individual experiences come into play. We create an individualized paradigm through which we interpret our experiences in the life and also at church.  During the course of our lives, that paradigm will change - hopefully because we are becoming more and more like the Savior. 

I have spent fifty-five years studying the Gospel of Jesus Christ who I accept as my Lord and Savior and who has touched my life in very real ways.  In Paul's beautiful letter, found in 1 Corinthians 13, he says,

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."  

I have used that scripture to guide me in my efforts to grow my own testimony.  I do see through a glass darkly, but although my lens is dark, my experiences are still important and not to be discarded.  As I own and acknowledge them, it helps me to have a deeper understanding of human nature and that understanding has helped me to appreciate Paul's next sentence in that letter:

"And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

As I have tried to exercise these three qualities, I have learned to be patient with myself and others and let go of a need to be able to understand everything.  I have a mind that asks questions and analyzes.  It is a blessing and a curse.  Mostly it is a blessing to me as I have learned to combine it with faith, hope, and charity.   

My patriarchal blessing has given me some guidelines to assist me in my quest for understanding and truth:

1.  The Lord has blessed you with a good mind and body and it is expected that you will use your faculties and abilities to the furthering of His work.  I encourage you in your studies.

2.  Live close to your Father in Heaven that you might have the Holy Ghost as a companion.

3. Remember always, that the Lord stands ready to assist those who have sincere and honest intentions, and He stands ready to bless and sustain you.

Yes, I ask a lot of questions and yes, I struggle with some things that are taught or said or that happen at church.  I don't want simple "Sunday School answers" because my questions are sincere and I spend a lot of time in prayer and study seeking answers because in my heart of hearts I know the church is true and I love my Savior.

Paul says that charity is the greatest gift and it truly is.  I have had to practice charity which encompasses, in it's heart, both love and forgiveness for all if I am to live in community with others.  Our church experience happens in a very close knit community which is why we call our congregations a "ward family."  Our ward family gives us a place to practice the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Humans disappoint us all the time and I remind myself that I do the same.  

In the midst of this community, I am developing my testimony and I cannot let it be affected by the actions of others.  I have to know for myself.  Yet others say and do things with which I may disagree or that I may not think are not fitting a member of the church.  The very act of loving and forgiving has in truth helped me to develop a testimony because I have had to go the Lord and seek His help in doing so.  And there on my knees in prayer I learned for myself that He lives and loves me.  

That is the basis of my testimony - that God loves us.   God loves us.  Everything He does is because He loves us.  I always look for that love.  So I would add to Brother Givens list now.  I would add:  "It is filled with love."

The pages of this blog will be filled with words - a glossary of words that have become a part of my life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  As I have sat and contemplated each word, I have been able to create my own definitions based on my life of experience and my life of study.  I think you will find that my definitions will each incorporate the principles mentioned above:  A gospel truth is expansive, redemptive, inclusive, and filled with love.  It is the way I see the Gospel and in truth, I love the Gospel because its truths represents those four principles.