A Testimony of my Own

A favorite LDS author of mine is Terryl Givens.  I heard him at a BYU devotional several years ago and he said something that really stuck with me.  He said that he had created a set of principles for himself to help him determine if something is true.  His principles were simple.  Any gospel truth would be expansive, redemptive and inclusive.  I created this picture based on his writings:

Brother Givens got me to thinking in a different way.  I gave myself permission to think about the Gospel in terms of how I recognize truth.  I frankly like his 3 phrases a lot.  I have thought about them when I was contemplating a scripture, a talk I was reading, or something someone said in a class or in sacrament meeting.

It is said that if 20 people were all sitting in a room listening to the same person give a speech, there would be 20 different versions of that speech.  Likewise, children growing up in the same home, have different experiences of what that home was all about.  Life is like that because humans are very complex creatures.  We bring with us a personality of our own when we are born.  We are each given a unique and different genetic makeup that forms our thinking.  And from the moment of birth forward we have experiences that affect us differently and we begin to shape our own world views.

As we develop a testimony of the Gospel, all of our individual experiences come into play. We create an individualized paradigm through which we interpret our experiences in the life and also at church.  During the course of our lives, that paradigm will change - hopefully because we are becoming more and more like the Savior. 

I have spent fifty-five years studying the Gospel of Jesus Christ who I accept as my Lord and Savior and who has touched my life in very real ways.  In Paul's beautiful letter, found in 1 Corinthians 13, he says,

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."  

I have used that scripture to guide me in my efforts to grow my own testimony.  I do see through a glass darkly, but although my lens is dark, my experiences are still important and not to be discarded.  As I own and acknowledge them, it helps me to have a deeper understanding of human nature and that understanding has helped me to appreciate Paul's next sentence in that letter:

"And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

As I have tried to exercise these three qualities, I have learned to be patient with myself and others and let go of a need to be able to understand everything.  I have a mind that asks questions and analyzes.  It is a blessing and a curse.  Mostly it is a blessing to me as I have learned to combine it with faith, hope, and charity.   

My patriarchal blessing has given me some guidelines to assist me in my quest for understanding and truth:

1.  The Lord has blessed you with a good mind and body and it is expected that you will use your faculties and abilities to the furthering of His work.  I encourage you in your studies.

2.  Live close to your Father in Heaven that you might have the Holy Ghost as a companion.

3. Remember always, that the Lord stands ready to assist those who have sincere and honest intentions, and He stands ready to bless and sustain you.

Yes, I ask a lot of questions and yes, I struggle with some things that are taught or said or that happen at church.  I don't want simple "Sunday School answers" because my questions are sincere and I spend a lot of time in prayer and study seeking answers because in my heart of hearts I know the church is true and I love my Savior.

Paul says that charity is the greatest gift and it truly is.  I have had to practice charity which encompasses, in it's heart, both love and forgiveness for all if I am to live in community with others.  Our church experience happens in a very close knit community which is why we call our congregations a "ward family."  Our ward family gives us a place to practice the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Humans disappoint us all the time and I remind myself that I do the same.  

In the midst of this community, I am developing my testimony and I cannot let it be affected by the actions of others.  I have to know for myself.  Yet others say and do things with which I may disagree or that I may not think are not fitting a member of the church.  The very act of loving and forgiving has in truth helped me to develop a testimony because I have had to go the Lord and seek His help in doing so.  And there on my knees in prayer I learned for myself that He lives and loves me.  

That is the basis of my testimony - that God loves us.   God loves us.  Everything He does is because He loves us.  I always look for that love.  So I would add to Brother Givens list now.  I would add:  "It is filled with love."

The pages of this blog will be filled with words - a glossary of words that have become a part of my life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  As I have sat and contemplated each word, I have been able to create my own definitions based on my life of experience and my life of study.  I think you will find that my definitions will each incorporate the principles mentioned above:  A gospel truth is expansive, redemptive, inclusive, and filled with love.  It is the way I see the Gospel and in truth, I love the Gospel because its truths represents those four principles.

Definitions

Definitions are everything. We read a word and by our "understanding of what it means," we come to a conclusion of its meaning.

That's because our understanding is influenced by

• Book learning
• What others have taught us
• What experience we have had
• Cultural understanding

The books "The God Who Weeps" and "The Christ Who Heals" by Terryl and Fiona Givens have made me aware that my understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is limited by my definitions of gospel language.

I need a paradigm switch, a new Webster's dictionary that gives me a new way to define the words that are the language of scripture. This new dictionary will have at its heart the foundations of love - abundant love.

First is the love of Heavenly Parents who want us to grow and progress and to become like them. And second is the love of Jesus Christ who volunteered to be the One who would help us to heal from all the wounds of mortality.

Their love is everlasting. They will continue to love us and help us as we progress through eons of time until at last we ourselves are capable of such love.

So in the light of all that love, let's read and find some gospel language. We'll let go of all the past understanding that reflects what the Lord meant when he said to Joseph "their creeds are an abomination".  We will even let go of some of what we have been taught at church for our definitions here, too often, have been a reflection of the Protestant culture that is so immersed in American culture that we don't see it for what it is.

Remember what John said in John 1:5 "Light shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehended it not." For me that darkness represents the sad interpretation I've had all of my life a basic gospel principles; who the Father is, the role of Christ, the meaning of words like commandment, sin, evil, judgment, heaven, hell, etc.

I believe new definitions will allow me to read my scriptures and see Light where I once beheld Darkness. And most importantly to love my Heavenly Father and to not fear Him.

Discovering Truth

Dieter F. Uchtdorf is the voice of a video, Discovering Truth, that was produced in 2018.  It begins:

It was six men of Indostan

To learning much inclined,

Who went to see the Elephant

(Though all of them were blind),

That each by observation

Might satisfy his mind. . .

Each in his own opinion concludes that the elephant is like a wall, snake, spear, tree, fan or rope, depending upon where they had touched. Their heated debate comes short of physical violence, but the conflict is never resolved.

You know how certain events become pivotal for you.  This was one.  I realized that when we have gospel discussions at church, we are like those blind men.  We each have a piece of truth and we are just sharing the piece we have been given.

Sometimes it feels like all the others in the group are holding on to the trunk of the elephant, so I am afraid to go against the consensus and tell about the piece I am sharing.  But that is exactly when it is so important for me to share.  

After all, my piece comes from a life of discovery - a life that was given to me by the Lord as a part of my education.  It is a part of who I am, of what life itself has taught me.  It takes courage to be vulnerable and share.  

I have to be humble enough to realize that my truth - my experience in life - is just a piece of a larger picture that I have the privilege to share.  It's not about who is right and who is wrong.  It is about sharing our different experiences as we search together for what truth really is.   It's like we are creating a jigsaw puzzle and I am adding my piece.  

“That someone could make a judgment based on one aspect of truth and apply it to the whole seems absurd or even unbelievable,” President Uchtdorf said. “On the other hand, can’t we recognize ourselves in these six blind men? Have we ever been guilty of the same pattern of thought?”

President Uchtdorf concludes:  

“As you accept the responsibility to seek after truth with an open mind and a humble heart, you will become more tolerant of others, more open to listen, more prepared to understand, more inclined to build up instead of tearing down and you will be more willing to go where God wants you to go,” he said.

It's funny that as I have begun to share more freely the piece of the elephant that I am touching, I have begun to enjoy hearing others share their pieces.

Once in a while we may see the whole picture but I personally believe that comes in the next life.

Advocate

There are many scriptures that speak of Jesus as our Advocate with the Father.  Here are two beautiful examples.

29:5. Lift up your hearts, and be glad, for I am in your midst, and am your advocate with the father, and it is his goodwill to give you the kingdom.

62:1 Behold, and hearken, O ye elders of my church, says your God, even Jesus Christ, your advocate, who knoweth the weaknesses of man and how to succor them who are tempted.

It is really important to define the word Advocate so that you see the beauty in these two verses of scripture.

Advocate: (verb)

• To speak or write in favor of
• To support or urge by argument
• To recommend publicly

Advocate: (noun)

• One who does all the above
• One who pleads in behalf of another
• Intercessor
• Court related advocate

Synonyms for Advocate (noun)

• apostle
• backer 
• campaigner 
• champion 
• defender 
• promoter 
• proponent 
• supporter 
• upholder 

Also (but different) 

• attorney 
• counsel 
• defender 
• lawyer 
• pleader

Synonyms for Advocate (verb)

• bless 
• bolster 
• boost 
• brace up 
• build up 
• campaign for 
• defend 
• encourage 
• favor 
• go to bat for 
• promote 
• recommend 
• root for 
• support 
• uphold 

Also (but different)

• defend 
• plead for 
• speak for
• vindicate

Succor (noun) 

• help 
• relief 
• aid 
• assistance

Succor (verb)

• To help or relieve

Synonyms for succor (noun)

• support 
• sustenance 
• comfort

Synonyms for succor (verb)

• comfort 
• help 
• rescue 
• support

With:

• along 
• along with 
• beside 
• including 
• plus
• accompanied by

Because definitions are everything - because how we define words brings meaning to everything we hear or read - our understanding of scripture is based on definitions, of what we were taught words mean.

I was taught the word advocate when applied to Jesus meant that it was His role - as our legal representative - to plead with God the Father to not punish us because of our mistakes and failures in life. It is the old story that paints Heavenly Father as the judge, demanding that the demands of the law of justice be met. Jesus offers Himself in our place and if we believe in Him, He offers us mercy. He asks the Father to let us into heaven based on our faith in Him (Jesus).

That interpretation is a very legalistic approach to the gospel and is rooted in Augustine's teachings and Reformation or Calvinistic thought.

It is inconsistent with Restored truths that teach that God is our literal Father in Heaven. He loves us dearly and created this Earth for us and sent us here to learn to distinguish for ourselves through experience both good and evil. He knows that until we know evil we can never truly choose good. The textbook learning never does what real hands-on learning can do and we as his Spirit children had progressed as far as we could in that heavenly home.   It was time for us to have a real experience in exercising our agency.

By allowing us to exercise agency and to experience the consequences of our choices, He knew we would make mistakes that we could not undo or make right. He knew we would both hurt others and in turn be hurt by the actions of others. He knew that life would be complicated and messy, sometimes horrific. But he promised He would make it all work toward our ultimate good.

Jesus volunteered to come to Earth as the Son of God, experience all the pains of life here, so that by suffering with and for us He could draw us unto Him. When there is no one else who understands, He is there.

Using the definitions above in a non legalistic way and with the more supportive definition of Advocate, I would read this verse as follows:

Doctrine and Covenants 29:5 says Lift up your hearts and be glad. For I am in your midst [I am always available if you need me] and am I am your Advocate [I am here to cheer you on, bless, bolster, encourage, support and uphold] with the Father [he is accompanying me in this. His work and mine are the same. We love you and are here to help you through your mortal journey] and it is His goodwill to give you the kingdom [for this is my work and my glory and Father's work along with me is to do everything we can possibly do to help you along this journey!]

And if I were Jesus speaking to us I would continue with the following:

"What we can't do is remove your agency - you cannot grow into godhead by being a puppet. We cannot remove the consequences of your choices. They are your mortal teachers. Please listen to them.

We cannot manipulate your behavior or infringe upon your agency by handing out rewards whenever you choose right or punishments when you choose wrong. You must learn for yourself and you will soon see how each good choice is its own reward just as each wrong choice will bless you with the knowledge you need to choose better; to price the good if you will remain open to its lessons.

What we promise you is this - there lies before you total understanding, total healing, forgiveness and you will soon learn how important it is to forgive others.

Just remember, we have now made you the creator of the life you desire. Your final destiny - your infinite potential is to be like us and live with us and all those you love forever enjoy and eternal progressions. We hope that is what you will also choose. Will do everything we can to help you get there.

We are forever advocating for you - cheering you on. With all our love Father, Mother, Jesus, Holy Ghost AKA God."

Agency

Agency is all about choices and consequences and our right to choose the course of our own life.  We are not puppets in the hand of God.  We are His children and He knows that in order to become like Him and fulfill our potential, it must be the result of our own choice.  We are not animals being "trained".  We are human beings learning to make choices that benefit our growth and development. We are creating our own eternal destinies.  God's role in this is to save us from the mistakes we make that we cannot correct ourselves and ultimately He will do that.  But in order to give us agency, He has to have a hands off kind of parenting.  He cannot intervene with a blessing for each good act and a punishment for each bad choice.  If so, we would be Pavlonian dogs, being trained to respond to a stimulus.  We are here to learn principles that govern human happiness in the laboratory of life. He has to respect the agency He has given us.

"Choice must be a choice of something... Human liberty requires the freedom of doing as we like, subject to such consequences as may follow." p. 54 The Christ Who Heals (Givens)

Here are my favorite scriptures about agency:

2 Nephi 2:11-12  For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption and corruption, happiness nor misery neither sense nor insensibility. Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation.

2 Nephi 2:27  Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh, and all things are given unto them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life through the great mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he sick of that all men might be miserable like unto himself

Moses 7:32  The Lord said unto Enoch; behold these thy brethren, they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I; and in the Garden of Eden gave I unto man his agency.

D&C 93:30  All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence.

I also find this interesting: Agency is one of the Restored Truths. Look in the topical guide. The Bible says little about agency other than references where someone is given the option to make a choice. But all of the restoration scriptures have multiple references to the concept of agency.  Without the complete understanding of the Pre-existence and God's plan for His children, the concept of agency was lost.  Having that understanding back helps me to understand life so much more.  It helps me to understand why God doesn't just intervene and end all human misery.  It helps me to understand why I need a Savior.  It helps me to see how much God loves me and wants me to become like Him.  It gives me faith that I can learn from my mistakes and keep growing and progressing.  I personally am grateful so this Gospel truth.  Hymn # 240 says it well:

Know this that every soul is free

To choose his life and what he'll be. 

For this eternal truth is given 

That God will force no man to heaven. 

He'll call, persuade, direct aright 

And blessed with wisdom, love and light. 

In nameless ways be good and kind 

But never force the human mind.

Freedom and reason make us men.

Take these away, what are we then? 

Mere animals, and just as well 

The beast may think of heaven or hell. 

May we know more our powers abuse 

But ways of Truth and goodness choose. 

Our God is pleased when we improve 

His grace and seek His perfect love.

Atonement

When we left our Heavenly Parents and came to earth we entered a great opportunity to learn and progress and become like them. But that opportunity was fraught with all kinds of separations and fractures of relationships.

1. We were then separated from the presence of God and could never return to the "innocent state" that allowed us to live with Him as His children.

2. We would form earthly families and relationships that become a cultural part of who we are and always will be. Those relationships can be the source of great stability and joybut they can also be very difficult and the source of much pain.

3. Humans often choose to hurt each other and fracture all eternal relationships as sons and daughters of God and therefore as literal brothers and sisters.  The Family of Man has a poor track record when it comes to loving your neighbor.

4. Finally death itself separates us from all we know and love.

None of this is a surprise to God. He knew before He created the Earth that this next step in our progression would be a trial to us. And so it was, that while we were in the Council in Heaven we were given a plan that included a Savior. We shouted for joy knowing that Christ would be our Savior. His atonement would be the healer of all those separations.

His willingness to be our Savior allowed us to come to Earth and maintain our agency. Nothing we would do or that anyone else would do could permanently stop our progression. Mistakes would be made. Sin would be real but the great At-One-ment would help us, and heal us, and bring us again into the presence of our Heavenly Parents. . . 

  

      With our earthly families

      At peace with all our brothers and sisters

     All made one and whole. 

Healed of everything that divides and separates,

     At-One with God

     At-One with family

     At-One with all mankind

Luke 4:18 
The spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has appointed me to preach the gospel to the poor;  he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.

2 Nephi 25:13 
Behold, they will crucify Him;  and after He is laid in a sepulcher for the space of three days He will rise from the dead, with healing in his wings.

John 12:32 
And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.

John 3:16-17 
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God sent not His son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Alma 7:11-12 
And He shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith He will take upon Him the pains and the sicknesses of His people.  And He will take upon Him death, that He may loose the bands of death which bind His people and He will take upon Him their infirmities that His bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that He may know according to the flesh how to succor His people according to their infirmities.

Mosiah 4:6
I say unto you, if ye have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and his matchless power; and his wisdom, and his patience, and his long-suffering toward the children of men, and also, the atonement which has been prepared from the foundation of the world. . .

Matthew 1:21 
And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus for he shall save his people from their sins.

John 10:14-15 
I am the Good Shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. As the Father knoweth me, even so I know the Father and I laid down my life for the sheep.

I love this new way of looking at the Atonement. The old idea of mercy needing to satisfy justice just perpetuated the idea that God is the angry God, the Sovereign who you can never please and so Jesus intervenes and pleads for us - to appease the Father. It is so hard to love that Father.

But in reality the Father, the One who loves me and who gave me agency because He loves me and wants me to fulfill my Divine Potential, accepted Jesus' offer to pay the price so I could have this agency. That understanding makes me love Him and feel grateful that He has provided for my "eternal progression".  I long ago realized my own capacity to choose wrong and to do things that cannot be undone.  Just knowing that healing is possible gives me the faith to move forward, to learn my lessons, to forgive others and ask forgiveness in return.  I am grateful to know that our Heavenly Parents are watching over us and that all that happens here on this earth can be for our benefit through the power of Jesus' atonement and the healing He offers as we turn to Him.  I love the Savior and am most grateful for His Gospel in my own life.

Baptism

Baptism

The Fourth Article of Faith

. . . baptism by immersion for the remission of sin

The Fifth Article of Faith

We believe that a man must be called of God by prophecy and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority to preach the gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

Those Articles of Faith represent the legalism of baptism: its purpose and mode of administration. So often, when the child is baptized, that is what you can be guaranteed the speaker will talk about.  The immersion in water represents a cleansing from sin. You are now clean. And then we talk about why the person who did the baptism was authorized to do so. And we welcome the child as the newest member of the church.

But there is so much more!

It's not that baptism doesn't represent a remission of sin. All of us do terrible things at some point in our lives and are grateful to know we can be forgiven. And it's a wonderful thing to have priesthood authority in our midst. And yes, baptism makes you a member of the church and here is where the good stuff begins. (And it's not about the fact that I belong to the "true" church 😊)

Mosiah 18:8-10

And it came to pass that he said unto them behold, here are the Waters of Mormon (for this they were called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens that they may be light;

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that you may be in, even until death, that you may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that you may have eternal life-

Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that you have entered into a covenant with him, that you will serve him and keep his commandments that he may pour His Spirit more abundantly upon you.

This is the BAPTISMAL COVENANT!

Now let's compare this to Mosiah 24: 13-15

Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me: (our baptismal covenant) and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

and I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, even that you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage (aren't we all in bondage during our Earth life?)and this I will do that you may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that you may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, to visit my people in their afflictions. (Mourn with those who mourn)

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

And it came to pass that so great was their faith in their patients that the voice of the Lord came on to them again, saying be of good comfort for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.

The Lord makes the same covenant with us!

That is what it means to be a baptized member of the church - a covenant member.

• We bear each other's burdens.
• We mourn with each other.
• We give comfort.
• We participate together in the Lord's work.
• We are the family of God.

This is the beautiful part of our baptism. We are not alone in the world. We have vertical bonds that connect us to our Heavenly parents and to the Savior and we have horizontal ties that bind us to all those who have also made these covenants. We gradually learn to extend that love to all God's children as we "stand as witnesses" to the world by

• Bearing burdens
• Mourning
• Comforting

This is the heart and soul of what it means to be a baptized member of the Lord's church. This is what is meaningfully shared with others as we talk about membership in the church that comes through baptism.

If we get stuck in arguing about mode and authority we miss a great opportunity to teach what the Gospel of Jesus Christ means. Or maybe we haven't learned yet what it means. . .

Beginning

Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth."

Alma 40:8 ". . . all is as one day with God, and time only is measured unto men."

2 Peter 3:8 ". . . One day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day."

D&C 93:21 "I was in the beginning with the father, and am the firstborn."

D&C 93:23 "Ye were also in the beginning with the Father: that which is Spirit, even the spirit of Truth."

D&C 93:29 "Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made; neither indeed can be."

D&C 138:56 "Even before they were born, they, with many others, received their first lessons in the world of spirits. . ."

Beginnings and endings are non-existent to the Latter-Day saint. There just isn't a time when we did not exist or when we shall cease to exist. "I am" - that phrase that Jesus spoke to describe himself  -could be used to describe each of us.

I am. I was. I always will be. My identity as an individual is set. I am a child of God. I am in the likeness of God. I have the potential to become like my Heavenly Parents yet I am still a child, in the infancy of my development. Someday through the eons of time I will fulfill my potential.

I know that because my Heavenly Parents want me to become like them and to live a truly joyful life. They will keep reaching out to me and helping me through the great metamorphosis that yet lies ahead of me.

I've been watching our monarchs all summer. We have nine caterpillars in our butterfly cage right now. They range in size from about 3/4 inch to 2 &1/2 inches. We look forward to seeing them form their chrysalises and finally emerged. But we also love those caterpillars! They are beautiful. We like to watch them move around on the milkweed. We like how their heads bob as they eat. Did you know they curl up and play possum if they feel threatened?

I imagine Heavenly Father watches me in much the same way. He knows my potential and that I will someday be quite different than I am now. But he loves me now just the way I am. "I am a work in progress" is a cute saying with much behind it.

I am grateful for the simple truth - that life is eternal. I am. I always existed and shall live forever. I have divine potential but I am in my infancy - just beginning to become like Father and Mother and learning through the use of the gift of agency what is good and true.

Believe

What does it mean as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to believe?

Mark 5:36  "Be not afraid, only believe."

Jesus spoke these words to the ruler whose daughter had died. And then they went together to the man's home where Jesus raised her from the dead.

Webster's dictionary says the following:  Believe

1. To accept as true

2. To give Credence to, to hold as one's opinion

3. To have religious faith, to believe in, to have confidence in the existence, truth, or efficacy of

Perhaps the most poignant story from scripture about what it means to believe is this story shared by Mark in chapter 9:23 - 24. A man has a son with an illness that sounds a lot like epilepsy and seeks Jesus' help. " Jesus said unto him, if thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

As I consider all these statements I see myself in my own struggle to believe. Looking at the dictionary definitions I start with "to accept as true". I do accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ as true yet I have seen it changed over the years of my life. And besides that, I recognize that some scripture represents not truth but what those people at that time believed was true. So funny as it may seem, I am grateful to belong to a church where there is an openness to change. I can believe because truth is not a set dogma but a never-ending search to understand eternal principles.

Let's look at the second definition. To give credence to, to hold as one's own opinion. Often when I, Loretta, make a statement of belief - that is exactly what I am doing. I am expressing my own opinion. Example :I believe that God loves his children so much, so faithfully, so devotedly that He will work tirelessly and endlessly until He brings all home.

The third definition is to believe in, to have confidence of the existence of. This is religious belief. It is the belief that the two scripture stories illustrate so beautifully. "Be not afraid, only believe". And "Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief." This is when belief is a choice.

I have made my choice. We all must decide what we believe life is all about. I have found in the LDS perspective, a belief system that stirs my heart. I am going to quote now from The Crucible of Doubt by Terryl and Fiona Givens because they have helped me sort out the gospel. They have helped me to 1. set aside the weaknesses of its first prophet (and all its leaders), 2. separate the gospel from my Protestant beginnings and the paradigm with which I was raised and 3. separate the gospel from the culture surrounding it.

I find the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to be founded in basic truth about who God is, who man is, and they're shared destiny. I find in these truths a way of thinking that inspires me with faith, hope and charity.

As Terryl Givens says, a gospel truth will be Expansive, Redemptive,  and Inclusive.

The foundational truths are all that.

1. "There is an eternally existing universe presided over by a Deity who embodies the perfect love for which we yearn and for which we ourselves stretch, the weeping God encountered by Enoch. A being who literally, and not metaphorically, feels our pain as well as our joy, and is responsive to it, who made himself vulnerable, and thus won power and space in the world by his weakness."  page 136 The Crucible of Doubt

God is my loving Heavenly Father

I think of the hymns and songs that I love the most and which touch my heart. They are those whose words testify of God and his love.

My Heavenly Father Love Me

I Know My Father Lives

Our Savior's Love

The Lord is My Shepherd

The Lord is My Light

God is Love

How Great thou Art

I Stand All Amazed

I Know That My Redeemer Lives

Where Can I Turn for Peace

Be Still My Soul

Jesus, Lover of My Soul

He Sent His Son

2. "We find here a vision of human identity that is rooted in spirit - a refined matter as ancient or as eternal as the rest of our universe. Consciousness itself, our experience of aliveness and introspection and self-awareness and morality and meaning and responsiveness to beauty suggest a core identity of a radically distinct nature. . . And one that is eternal and. . ." page 136 The Crucible of Doubt

I am a child of God

The music that inspires

I am a Child of God

I Lived in Heaven

A Child's Prayer

I am Like a Star

Know This That Every Soul is Free

3. "A vision of mortality, consistent with the evolving momentum of all nature, that is educated, purposeful, and ennobling. Life is a moral workshop that we enter as willing students, not as unwitting victims of fate or happenstance, not as suffering culprits for an ancient father and mother's supposed crime. Life as a purposeful sojourn through which we strive toward virtue, acquire wisdom to carry with us, and cultivate relationships to survive the grave. Page 136 The Crucible of Doubt

Life is educated, purposeful and ennobling

I love the way the Givens describe our purpose here on Earth. It is so positive. Sometimes the words they choose make me feel happy: Educative, Purposeful, Ennobling.

Compare those words to the grinding feeling when we  focus on "proving ourselves, obedience, sin and repentance". Those feel heavy to me. They make me feel like there's something wrong with me because I constantly have and continue to make serious errors. I get stuck in "Am I a good person or am I bad? How will I ferret judgment? Have I repented enough? " But when I focus on the Givens words I asked very different questions:  "What lessons have I learned so far? What purpose can I find in that experience? How have I changed and become a better person because of my own challenges in life?"

I like the hymn "If You Could Hie to Kolob". Yes, perhaps it could say if you could see the heavens but let's not get caught up with hie and Kolob. This hymn is inspiring!

Life is eternal and the progress we make now is just the beginning of an eternity of growth and progression.

The hymn "O My Father" is another one that reminds me and inspires me that I am here for a purpose - a Divine and eternal purpose. It feels good to sing this song and be reminded that my life is leading to a joyful ending - "Let me come and well with you."

4. "A vision of human potential and work that is universal. No preordained losers, no predetermined hands, no ceilings of celestial glass. Infinite possibilities that do not depend on the circumstances of mortal birth into a particular place or time or culture. A destiny of eternal growth and increasing joy that God has made - and will continue to make - available to all, even as much as they are willing to receive. For it is his will that none should be lost." page 136  The Crucible of Doubt

I am an eternal being with endless possibilities.

I love how I feel when I contemplate eternity and the infinite possibilities that it holds for us.

I like to meditate and in my favorite meditation I visualize myself walking along the beach and I look up and see Heavenly Father walking toward me. I am excited to see him. We have so much to talk about. I hurry to him and He enfolds me in His arms while I bask in His love.

I imagine that joyful reunion for all of us. It will be there in the presence of such Love that we get to talk about our mortal journey and what we have learned. It will be there in the presence of His Love and our Savior's as well that we will heal from all earthly wounds. It will be there that we see what lies ahead.

My favorite song for this section is from the play "My Turn on Earth."

Some dreams must wait life isn't long enough.
Some dreams must wait to come true.
Sometimes it seems life just begins
and then all of a sudden it's through.
There's songs you won't sing.
There's stories that you won't ever hear.
Pages you'll never turn, words that you'll never know, things that you never will see.

Some dreams must wait life isn't long enough.
Some dreams must wait to come true.
It's nice to know there's all eternity
for everything you'd like to do.
There aren't any ____. there aren't any things like calendars.
No such thing as too late, just always and evermore.
That's why I think it's so great
that Heavenly Father and Mother
figured it all out so clever.
There's never enough time and that is why I'm glad we go on forever. . .

Sometimes when we are experiencing difficulties we may say "Keep an eternal perspective". But I like to keep that eternal perspective all the time. There is so much I want to do and to learn. I look forward to a future where I know such growth is possible.

5. "A belief that the relationships that are the end of all our human striving - marital love and unity,parental devotion to children stronger than pain or death, friendships of long duration and those recently formed - that all these endure. The conviction that these are too fine, too transcendent to dissipate in the wake of physical dissolution. It may indeed be wishful, hopeful thinking. But it also seems reasonable, given love's persistent survival amidst the traumas and horrors of history, against the tides of material distractions and the organism's propensity for self-interest, and in the light of theotherwise stingy  economy of the universe. page 137  The Crucible of Doubt

Families are forever

Michael McLean said it best:

Well, it's hard to say goodbye and let go and it's hard to see it end 

when the memories we've just made may never happen again. 

But it's harder for time to erase the together times we've shared. 

So, when we're apart remember all the love we shared together

 and for all that love thank the Lord above who showed us the way 

that we can be together forever someday. 

We will be together forever someday. 

We will be together forever someday

And then there is this simple Primary song we all love:

I have a family here on Earth. 

They are so good to me.

 I want to share my life with them through all eternity. 

Families can be together forever 

through Heavenly father's plan. 

I always want to be with my own family 

and the Lord has shown me how I can. 

The Lord has shown me how I can.

Ultimately we all choose what we will believe. I found in the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints a vision that expanded my mind and inspired me to believe that God really cares for His children. Our lay leadership means that we will hear many different versions of that story. Leaders will disappoint us and they will not always reflect the Savior's love. Somewhere along the way I lost my footings on what I believe and have now reclaimed them. They are the simple truths of the restored Gospel:

God lives and is our loving Heavenly Father (and Mother). I am a child of these loving Parents who created the plan so I might become like them. That plan brought me here to Earth and is meant to be educative. It is purposeful and ennobling. I am an eternal being with endless possibilities. The family is central to God's plan and these relationships - along with all our good friends - extend into the eternities. Families are forever.

Jesus Christ is Central to God's plan. He is our savior and Redeemer who knows that our mortal journey will leave us wounded. Some of those wounds are self-inflicted. Some are inflicted by others. Others come from the experiences we have on earth where mother nature and political battles are not always kind. But Jesus is our healer. He will rescue us from our sins and heal us from all else. Neither the consequences of our bad choices nor anything else can stop us from progressing and ultimately becoming like our Heavenly parents. But it is our choice. We are free to choose our own destiny.

I personally believe most everyone will choose to return home. It will just take time but time we have. Father has never declared a set day by which we must be transformed. He will work lovingly and endlessly until our return for "This is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

Man is that he might have joy. Joy comes from living true principles. Heaven is an association of beings who have learned these principles. That means we can claim "heaven" right now when we choose to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Blessings

Most of the time when I hear friends at church talk about blessings it is in the context that when we do something we are asked to do, the Lord will then bless us.  "Obey the commandments and the Lord will bless you."

I was thinking about this recently as I prepared a sacrament meeting talk about tithing.  I realized and I can only speak for myself, but I am not one of those people who has had great miracles come forth as a result of paying tithing. I have never seen a cause and effect relationship between paying my tithing and any letter in the mail with unexpected money or anything like that. 

I'm not sure that I see that kind of cause and effect as a result of my living any specific commandment.

I have actually come to believe that we should not keep a commandment and then look to see what the Lord is going to do for us to reward us. Rather, I believe that each commandment IS the blessing. Paying tithing is a blessing. As the old saying goes and I believe it – “Goodness is its own reward.”

I also believe that consequences of actions are not immediate and that is by design.  The Lord gave us moral agency when He created this earth.  We are free to choose our own actions and we also choose the consequences of those actions.  Ultimately, these choices will define us and we will become what we have chosen.

But if agency is truly to be ours, we cannot have immediate consequences.  If every time we did something good, the Lord rewarded us, we would end up doing good for the wrong reasons. Likewise, if every time we made a mistake, there was instant punishment, we would stop those behaviors - also for the wrong reason.

We need to learn for ourselves - not just be trained to act in certain ways.  So blessings cannot be God's reward for choosing to live the commandments as if He were rewarding our choice. 

So am I saying that I have no blessings?  That God has never blessed me?  Absolutely NOT!!

My life is SO blessed.  Life itself is a blessing. The earth is an amazing place!  The people in my life are blessings.  The Gospel blesses me every day.  My husband is an angel with whom it is a pleasure to share my life.  

Blessings abound!  I am filled with gratitude for the life I have been given.

Clean

According to Webster, clean means morally pure, innocent, upright, honorable.  I'm trying to decide what the word means to us as members of the LDS church and if we should even be using it.  These are some random thoughts:

Don't you just love a newborn? There is nothing that compares to wrapping your arms around a baby, holding it close and breathing in that wonderful smell. To me that is the smell of clean. It is innocence and purity in its most elemental form. This is beauty in its highest form. It is what I think of when I say that man is created in the image of God.

So what happens between that pristine beginning and the creation of a Hitler, a Stalin, a Charles Manson. How can a being so innocent become so tainted? Are they not also divine by nature?

Moses chapter 6 helps me to understand but let me first clarify how I feel about another scripture: 

1st Nephi 10:21

Wherefore, if he have sought to do wickedly all the days of your probation, then ye are found unclean before the judgment seat of God; and no unclean thing can dwell with God. . .

The key to this scripture is that it begins by saying, If ye have sought to do wickedly. . ..  That is the qualifier that ends with "no unclean thing can dwell with God".

This theme reappears in Moses 6 but in a larger context which I find helpful.

Moses 6 54-59 - paraphrased

The whole notion of original sin is nonsense. All children enter the world whole or free from sin.

However, life was designed so that everyone might taste the bitter and the sweet. None of us are free from sin and adversity during our mortal lives

We arrive on Earth with the freedom to choose good or evil. God made us agents with the freedom to choose our own destinies. He created us so that we would learn to know from experience what is the good. He also gave instructions (commandments) so that we wouldn't have to learn everything the hard way.

And when we make mistakes, He just wants us to stop, realize we're on the wrong path, and choose a better road. Heaven consists of a society where people choose the right. In order to be a part of that world, you may have to (most like will have to ) make some changes.

The Lord Jesus Christ who is your judge (and no other person has that right) will help you to sort out your life and become that "heavenly" person. Through Him you can be born again and become that pure infant - but this time not innocent - because you ate the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and became as the gods, knowing both good and evil. Now you are wise and pure and clean because you choose to be (are trying your best to be).

What I see in the Gospel plan is not a set of rules given by a sovereign lawgiver who says "Live by my rules or out you go!" What I understand is that mortality with all its trials and adversity is the path to godhood. Jesus is the one who loves us so completely that He alone is able to help us examine our lives and heal us from our mortal wounds - some self-inflicted, many inflicted by others. Those wounds were a necessary part of our education, our learning to prize the good.

So what then would be my definition of clean?

Clean - to be healed of the wounds of mortality so that those wounds no longer prevent us from progressing and becoming all that we can be - whether they be self inflicted or inflicted by others.

Am I clean now? only to the extent that I recognize and understand my wounds and ask for healing.

What I don't like is when the words "clean" and "unclean" becomes a judgment word and I or anyone else is made to feel bad about themselves because of mistakes they have made. Our mistakes are our education. They are intended to help us to develop our potential. We are not unclean because we do something wrong. That word is too fraught with a negative meaning - as if our nature were damaged.

I am by nature a child of God, divine by nature. In my very core essense I have divine qualities. I made forget who I am, adversity may strip away that memory, I may be taught I am worthless, I may not act as if I am divine by nature but my core, my divine potential remains there. It may be undeveloped but it is just waiting for the time of awakening when I remember who I am and then get the motivation and the power to choose a better path.

It is just better to use language that addresses are mortal condition rather than describes our being.

I also like the story in Matthew 8

And behold, there came a leper and worshiped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean

And she says put forth his hand and touched him, saying, I will,; be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy was healed.

This story touches me because lepers were outcasts. The disease wasn't understood except to know it was contagious. Those with it were required to warn others to stay away by saying "Unclean, unclean" and yet, as always, the Savior provided a safe place for healing by reaching out and touching that which was called unclean.

Sometimes we treat others the same as those lepers. Sometimes we feel like those lepers.  There is a truth that we must always remember:  The Lord loves us just as we are.  We all need healing and like that leper the Savior will reach out to us in whatever state we maybe - just as soon as we call out for help.  He has complete faith that we will respond to His Love and follow Him. 

Commandments

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Psalm 119

To truly have joy in the gospel I have had to finally gain some perspective about the commandments. Here is what they are not:

1. They are not a test.
2. They are not a standard by which blessings and punishments are administered.
3. They are not outdated.
4. They are not "Do what I say or else!"

To command is to exercise authority and to order others. I spent my childhood visualizing God as this angry authority figure who did exactly that. He was that God of the Old Testament who wiped out cities and nations when they "broke the rules." Lot's wife was turned to stone; Sodom and Gomorrah gone. And as much as I loved Noah and all those animals on the ark, that story reminded me of what would happen if I did not obey.

No wonder I loved Jesus - the man who came to teach us how to love. The Jews could have their God. I was a Christian - I would follow Jesus.

With that paradigm in my head, I interpreted all the scripture to fit my understanding. And I carried that belief far too long. I believe it affected my feelings towards all male authority figures.

Over the years I gradually began to adopt a new paradigm - the loving Heavenly Father. The Young Women statement affected me profoundly when it was introduced: "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him."

Teaching from Preach My Gospel while we were on our mission in Santa Rosa did the same. "God is our loving Heavenly Father."

But I must say the book The God Who Weeps by Terryl and Fiona Givens was pivotal. And I was 74 when I read this book! I wept the whole way through it. The Givens did not give me a whole new belief system -an alternative to Latter-day Saint doctrine. They showed me the Loving Father of Latter-day Saint doctrine. They freed me to read the scriptures, interpret the scriptures and see the love that is woven throughout.

I began to love the Gospel even more. With this new paradigm I have come to see the commandments as principles of happiness. I see them and all other teaching in the scriptures as the pleadings of this Father who loves his children so much that He wants them to know the path to happiness. I relate to this Loving Parent because I know how much I love my children.

I have this lovely version of my exit interview before I left my home above to come down to heaven.  It involves me sitting down with Heavenly Father and I would assume Mother, too.  They are assuring me of their love and reminding me of their plan and why earth life is so important.  "While you are there your job will be to discover principles that will bring you happiness when you live them.  You'll recognize them because they will remind you of us and of your home here.  But to help people remember them we have given them to prophets.  They are written in the scriptures and are called The Ten Commandments and we do so hope you will choose to live by them.  Just remember that each is based on a principle.  Don't ever get caught up in the language whereby truth is presented.  Look for the underlying principles and live by them.  Each will help you become the person you are meant to be."

One last thought before I talk about the commandments.  Too much emphasis on commandments and obedience doesn't seem healthy.  I often refer to this quote by Joseph Smith:

 “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” (Messages of the First Presidency, comp. James R. Clark, 6 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 3:54.) 

I totally agree that we should be teaching principles, not commanding people to do anything.  The following scripture says why: 

 D&C 58:26
For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

Hopefully, our roles as leaders and parents reflect this teaching of Joseph Smith.

Now let's look at The Ten Commandments knowing that within each is a principle that will bless our lives if we choose to live it. I look back over my life and see how much just those basic ten "commandments/principles" have blessed me and how many struggles in life are centered in them. This quote by G.K. Chesterton is quite appropriate:

"The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the ten commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion, but, on the contrary, of its liberality and humanity. It is shorter to state the things that are forbidden than the things permitted; precisely because most things are permitted, and only a few things are forbidden."

GK Chesterton quote

                                                         **********************

THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME

I have learned to focus my life on things that have eternal significance. I believe I put God first in my life when I am so focused. Whether it is raising a family, serving in church or community, how I treat the children who entered my classroom each day, or honoring all people as children of God, I was putting God first in my life. I see everything as a part of His creation and make an attempt to care for all around me as a way to honor my Heavenly Father. It has been a wonderful and happy way to live my life. I feel so blessed everyday.

THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY GRAVEN IMAGE

this commandment reminds me that the best things in life cannot be seen with the eye: love, charity, kindness, forgiveness, a grateful heart, etc.

It is so easy to get caught up in believing happiness comes from things we can own. "Where your treasure is, there will be your heart also." We are easily distracted by the pursuit of material things. But as evidenced by this year's fires and hurricanes, those things can be gone in a minute. The trick is to use them gratefully but keep our hearts focused on eternal principles - things unseen that will remain with us when the storms are gone.

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

This was an important concept to the Jews. They honored God by honoring His name. In fact, they chose not to even speak His name - instead they substituted "ha - shem" ( the name).

Perhaps the principle we can learn here is that how we speak to and about a person is a reflection of who we are. When we use the name of God properly, it reflects our deepest feelings about Him, our respect for Him.

As we learn to speak respectfully to and about God we learn to control our thoughts and our tongue. We choose not to use common phrases that we here all the time such as "Oh, God", " Oh, my God", or "Jesus Christ" as a way to express frustration. But it goes deeper than that because we must learn to speak respectfully to everyone for they are God's children. 

So much of swearing is used to express anger and to hurt another person. I believe such unkind language hurts relationships and shows a lack of respect.

By choosing to refrain from any such disrespectful or"vain" language, I show how much I love and honor my fellow man and at the same time, respect God who is our Father.

Maybe swear words are in fact weapons and need to be buried as did the Lamanites who covenanted to never kill again. I know for myself that every bad word I have ever spoken was used as a weapon against another person. When I made a conscious effort to eliminate those words from my vocabulary, I eliminated much of the angry feelings that accompany them. I was forced to deal with disagreements in healthy ways. It was a great blessing to me to make that change.

REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY TO KEEP IT HOLY

For all my life, Sundays have been a special day. Sunday has meant worship, beautiful church music, thoughtful lessons and being surrounded by friends and family.

It is a weekly, holy day - a holiday from work, a day to relax and recoup from a busy week. I'm not good at making it a productive day. I seem to just need the rest. On the seventh day God rested and so do I.

I love the Sabbath and I'm grateful it has blessed my life all these many years.

HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER

It is interesting that the Lord even had to put this in among the commandments. Every child loves their mom and dad - in an ideal world, that is. But we live in a less-than-ideal world. For some, their parents are the rock they stand on. For others, their parents are abusive or drug addicts. Some of us love our parents when we are young but as we get older we begin to recognize their faults and lose that idealized view and have to adjust our thinking so that we can honor them.

If parents are not perfect, if they are just a pure disappointment, why should we honor them?

Here's another thought I've had. Why begin marriage with eternal covenants? Why not marry civilly or at least not in the temple and then when you're sure that this is the person you want to spend your life AND maternity with - then get that marriage sealed.

And why do we go through all the trouble to find our ancestors and get sealed to them?

Something important is going on here. What is it?

First - we can never fully understand ourselves until we understand our roots.

Second - the family is the most important place for us to learn and practice forbearance, patience, forgiving and being forgiven. This is where we practice what we preach.

3rd - commitment made up front determines the course of action we will take when conflict arises.

I've gone through so many of the stages I described. I loved my parents when I was young. I wished I had different parents when I was a teen. As I did family history and began to ask questions about my parents lives I began to understand them and to understand myself.

As I have done family history, I have often wondered what these people were like? Maybe those couples don't want to be sealed. Maybe those children didn't like their parents.

But I see the ceiling ordinance as a "healing" ordinance. To become like God we must be able to love everyone. The Savior offers that healing - that chance to let go of offenses, of any hurts that evolved in relationships. We are sealed under the priesthood which offers all the blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to each individual.

I like to hope that with all the temple ordinances in place, each family can be free to love each other and allow their life experience to become a learning experience, a pathway to growth.

My family is so important to me. It is where I belong. It's who I am. I'm so grateful for my family. Mom and Dad loved me and I loved them in return. I love my brothers - as different as we are. My extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins means a lot to me. It's been fun to reunite with cousins after years of going our separate ways.

The commandment to honor mother and father is so much more than just that. It is the gift of family for which I will always be grateful.

THOU SHALT NOT KILL (Or as Jesus added, " Whosoever is angry. . ."

It seems to me that the Lord is asking us to do two things here. The first is to value all life. Life is sacred. It is an amazing thing to live on planet earth - the only place that we know of in the whole universe that has life as we know it! Human life with all its complexities and all its complications is a rare and amazing phenomenon. We don't have the right to take that away from anyone.

Even more so - all of life is amazing. The earth is an ecosystem where every living thing has its part to play. Each piece is needed to maintain the system. Whenever humans destroy a piece of the ecosystem there are consequences. We are not to kill anything. We are to learn respect and awe for this magnificent home - Mother Earth.

The second part of this commandments which makes Jesus's addition important is that one task of becoming a responsible human being is to control our emotions. Anger is destructive. Even when it does not lead to murder, it is capable of killing relationships. Agency comes with responsibility. We are responsible for learning to appropriately handle anger which is a normal response to many situations. Unbridled anger is nasty and destructive.

The question for me here is how has this commandment blessed my life? I believe that because the Lord gave us this commandment I've had to do some soul-searching and to come to grips with my own tendency to get angry and even to wish certain people dead. Hitler would be a case in point. I should have been glad to have been a hit man sent in to eliminate this horrible man. But do I have the right to even think that way? Who am I to say who shall live and who should die? This commandment challenges my thinking and combined with the gospel that teaches that God loves all his children - even Adolf Hitler - I have to question my own hatred of this man.

Over years of such inner conflicts I have been able to let go of the anger and the need to judge others. I am able to give judgment to the Lord and trust that at some future time I will have a different perspective on those who I call "evil" people.

For me, the opposite of kill is love. This commandment frees us to love life!

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY (Once again the Savior added to a commandment, "whosoever looketh upon another to lust. . ."

I'm grateful for all the wonderful people I know who value fidelity in marriage and family relations. These people are my heroes in a world gone crazy.

If all the world would live the law of chastity - that all sexual relations be within the bonds of marriage - just look at the heartache that would be avoided:

• No rape
• No prostitution
• No child predators
• No child prostitution and the child slave market it encompasses
• No children born without committed parents
• We could end sexually transmitted disease.
• The Aids/HIV epidemic would have been so much smaller and never the horrible tragedy it became in Africa.
• Women would be honored; never "objects".
• All the sexual exploitation we see in the news would be gone.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

Once again we are asked to love and respect others - this time by honoring the things that belong to them. If we borrow we are to return. We honor human life by honoring human possessions. Control desires. Take charge of your own life and create a way to obtain the things you need.

But that is not the world we live in, is it? We have come to expect the worst. We have home security systems, double locks on doors, identity protection, Norton on our computers. We dare not leave our doors unlocked. Our cars have anti-theft devices. We are taught how to be safe - never leave valuables in our cars, timers on lights make it appear someone is home at all times.

What a world! If only we all would not steal . . .

And yet we all have done this wrong at some time. It may have been a "cookie from the cookie jar" or a piece of candy. It may have been an answer to a question on a test. If we have, it may have been the first time we learned that we do indeed have an inner voice that tells us when we've done something wrong. For many a child this is when they discovered what a "guilty conscience" is.

I know that feeling and I don't like it. Losing integrity with yourself is a terrible feeling. Early childhood experiences of taking something that doesn't belong to us are often one of the best learning experiences we ever have -introducing to us our conscious conscience and helping us to make better choices in the future.

Thou shalt not steal is tied to the tenth commandment - thou shalt not covet but I think that one is the hardest of all.

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR

Most of us will never out-and-out tell lies about another person. Nor will we twist the truth about others. (Washington would certainly be well-served by living this commandment!)

Our challenge lies in speaking well of others and in not gossiping. Another challenge is to just keep and honor confidential information we may have about others.

Love, honor and respect are once again keywords. You don't have to like everyone. Personalities do clash. But we can give respect to all. And the best way we can do this is by how we speak of others.

Case-in-point - we have a neighbor who is bipolar. When she is off her meds, she is a nightmare. She can yell and scream and cuss you out over anything. At such times it would be easy to get caught up in negative conversations about what this neighbor has done this time. We choose not to do that - I read "false witness" to include sharing such stories with our neighbors.

Love, honor and respect is due to all human beings. We are all children of God with challenges of our own. I am blessed by this loving advice from my Father in heaven. I have kinder interactions with others because I choose not to bear false witness.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE, THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE, NOR HIS MANSERVANT, NOR HIS MAIDSERVANT, NOR HIS OX, NOR HIS ASS, NOR ANYTHING THAT IS THY NEIGHBOR'S

I think this commandment is the hardest of all when you live in a culture driven by consumerism as we do here in the United States. We are barraged with the message that "things" will bring us happiness. Not true but...

Don't we find ourselves coveting

• our neighbor's house - all of a sudden ours isn't as satisfying. Their kitchen back-splash is so beautiful. I should redo mine, etc.
• our neighbor's wife - she's thinner, has nicer clothes, her hairstyle is stunning, etc
• our neighbors servants - perhaps a sign of status. Wish I could afford a maid . . .
• our neighbors transportation - another sign of status - perhaps his Lexus or Camry

There will always be something our neighbors, our siblings, our church friends have that is nicer than what we have. And the even sadder thing is that coveting causes us to break other commandments. No one steals without coveting. Murder is often linked to coveting. Adultery is often linked to coveting. Bearing false witness as a result of jealousy goes back to coveting.

I have two antidotes that work for me - the 10th commandment is all about "things". If we make a decision to focus our lives on becoming Christ-like, by developing the qualities of character that defined the Savior, "things" will lose their appeal. There is less satisfaction in the material as we develop the spiritual in our lives. Our hearts will change just as did the Grinch once he realized there was more to Christmas.

My cancer diagnosis in 2014 caused me to really take a good look at my life and evaluate what was really important to me. Relationships are the only things that matter. And all of the Christ-like attributes - everything the Savior taught us  - are the skills we need to make our relationships happy ones. Families are forever!!

The second tool I used to combat my moments when I find myself feeling sorry for myself because I am coveting things - is gratitude.

Counting my blessings is the healthiest thing I do for myself. It fills me with joy.  It fills me - it is like all those little empty spaces inside my heart that think a new "this or that" would bring some joy are so completely filled that there is no emptiness. I am complete. I am happy - not because anything changed but because I stopped to appreciate what I already have.

O, how I love God's laws. They have taught me how to live a happy life. His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. I shall forever be grateful that I have had the Gospel of Jesus Christ to guide my life.

Hymn 125 says the following:

How gentle God's commands

How kind his precepts are.

Come, cast your burdens on the Lord

And trust his constant care.

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THOU SHALT NOT NAG (Keep reading for an explanation)

If you have read the Anne of Green Gables stories then you already know that Anne could be stubborn and rebellious- in her own childlike, innocent way.  It often got her in deep trouble.  Near the end of the first book, Anne and Marilla are having a conversation about Anne's morning at church.

"I want to tell you something and ask you what you think about it.  It has worried me terrible -on Sunday afternoons, that is, when I think specially about such matters.  I do really want to be good; and when I'm with you or Mrs. Allan or Miss Stacy I want it more than every and I want to do just what would please you and what you would approve of.  But mostly when I'm with Mrs. Lynde I feel desperately wicked and as if I wanted to go and do the very thing she tells me I oughtn't to do.  I feel irresistible tempted to do it. Now, what do you think is the reason I feel like that?  Do you think it's because I'm really bad and unregenerate?

Marilla looked dubious for a moment. Then she laughed.

If you are I guess I am too, Anne, for Rachel often has that very effect on me.  I sometimes think she'd have more of an influence for good as you say yourself, if she didn't keep nagging people to do right.  There should have been a special commandment against nagging."

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