Weakness

Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness, I give unto men their weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

I was about 12 years old and sitting in a Sunday school class with my friends when the teacher began talking about what you need to do in order to qualify for heaven. He then looked at us and said"it is so hard to get into heaven that only one of you here in this room will probably make it." I just sat there and looked around the room and wondered what the others were doing that was so wrong!

The truth is I was just a sweet young girl who loved the Savior and couldn't imagine not being with Him. I couldn't imagine anyone else not being there either but was too young and inexperienced to challenge a teacher - especially one that I had come to love.

Well, life has a way of knocking us down. Fast forward 30 years and you'll find me wondering if there was anything good about me. I was wearing an invisible sign that "I am a reject, worthless"
and I was angry. I was so filled with negative emotions that I didn't like myself at all. I was mad at the husband who had left me, I was mad at all men. I was especially mad at God and told him so. I was in the depths of despair.

It has been my experience that you don't get out of the pit of despair until you take a good look at yourself. The despair was not the result of what had happened to me. It was the result of the choices I made. It was the result of how I responded to what happened to me and the meaning I gave to those events.

A good therapist, much journaling and much prayer brought healing. I took charge of my life, my emotions and my choices. I chose to be happy.

I learned the secret of a scripture in the Book of Mormon.

2 Nephi 1:20

And he hath said that inasmuch as you shall keep my commandments you shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as you will not keep my commandments you shall be cut off from my presence.

That scripture taught me about cause and effect in my own life. I wanted happiness so I began to make decisions that would affect happy moments. But the time my life had changed and I was experiencing joy once more, I was a new person. I had faced myself. I had had to come to grips with my own weaknesses. I was a humble and compassionate person. I was less judgmental of others. And I had discovered how deeply the Lord loved me and wanted me to trust Him. He became the friend I could always turn to. I love my Heavenly Father. He heard and answered my prayers.

From The Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin:  "It is one thing to read about dragons and another to meet them."

I was very much like Ged who had to face the dark shadow that followed him in Earthsea. And I love how the author describes him afterwards.

"He has a greater, unlearned skill he possessed, which was the art of kindness."

John Newton was such a person also. He had to face his past as a slave trader before he could author the hymn "Amazing Grace". The Road to Character by David Brooks shares many such stories.

To have weaknesses is to be human. To face your weaknesses is to be courageous. Only those who do ever become the people they are truly meant to be.