Forgiveness (Forgetting)

Forgiveness is one of the great gifts that the Lord has given to us - he asks us to forgive others not because he won't forgive us if we don't forgive - he asks us to forgive others so that we might be free of the distress that not forgiving brings into our lives.

Matthew 18:23-35 tells the Parable of the Debtors. A certain man owed the king 10,000 talents and when he begged for more time, the king had pity on him and forgave him the whole debt!

That same man turned around and demanded a fellow servant repay him an hundred pence - a very small debt. When the man begged for patience and time, "he would not but went and cast him into prison till he should pay the debt."

When the king finds out, in verse 34 "And his Lord was rough, and delivered him to the tormentors, tell he should pay all that was done unto him."

There in the last verse we find the punchline for this story.  "So likewise shall my heavenly father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses."

Two things have always bothered me about this story. First, how can you repay a debt if you are in prison? It appears there is no possible resolution for the debtor. That seems inconsistent with my understanding that is never too late to repent and that wording at the end "so likewise shall my Heavenly Father do also to you" makes it sound like God will punish us.

I have come to understand that the "tormentors" referred to in the story are in fact the torments in our own souls when we are unable to forgive. When we harbor negative feelings toward another person we are infected with unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, slander, resentment - maybe even hatred and thoughts of revenge. These feelings don't have to turn to action to harm us. Their very presence in our hearts prevents us from being happy.

And man is that he might have joy!

God wants us to forgive so that we can fill our hearts and our lives with love. Forgiveness is a gift from a loving parent.

Without forgiveness, life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. Roberto Assagioli

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because 

God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. 

C S Lewis

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. 

It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. 

Corrie Ten Boom

Sins cannot be undone, only forgiven. 

Igor Stravinsky

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. 

Lewis B Smedes

Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning. 

Desmond Tutu

So what of forgetting?

Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for my own sake, and will not remember thy sins.

Jeremiah 31:34 . . . for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.

D&C 58:42 Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I the Lord remember them no more.

I will not presume to speak for the Lord and say what exactly he means when he says he will remember no more.  What makes sense to me though is to say that our sins will never be used against us in a hurtful way.

Remembering my own sin keeps me humble and compassionate of others. I have been there, done that. Life is a learning experience. I learned as a teacher that's the best learning often took place after the test or the paper or the experiment. Those conversations were no longer based on theory but rather on experience.

Likewise, I think we will be able to have a similar experience with our Heavenly Parents and in the presence of pure love where there is no intent to hurt, we can even look back at our life and talk about what we learned from our experiences and gain even greater insights from them.

Perhaps we'll have similar conversations with those we have had need to forgive and those who have had need to forgive us.

I want to learn - to change into grow and to progress and become all that I can. Any remembering that helps me to get there is welcomed. I trust that in a place of love and forgiveness that will all be possible.